If you once was addicted to Alcohol and/or drugs and God snatched you out of that addiction as you became ‘born again/converted/regenerated through Repentance and Faith in Jesus Christ and He has given you a New Heart with New Desires, I’d love to hear from you. Please write to me and send me your Testimony. I’d love to put your personal Testimony either in my book one day or on my website in order to encourage others in Christ.
If you would like for your personal testimony to be considered for publication in my book or on my website to encourage others, please send it to the address below. If you send me your written testimony you are giving me permission to reprint it.
Please write these words on your written testimony: [YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO REPRINT THIS TESTIMONY ]Then sign and date it.
1 Cross 1 Way Ministries
Journey from bondage into bondage to communion with the True God (Jesus Christ)
Hello, my name is Sean and I am a child of the One True King.
I believe the Lord used alcohol as a means of drawing me closer to Himself. Eventually, The Lord saved me and I received Him as my personal Lord and Savior. Part of my story also includes Him using the process of “recovery” and trials that come with it; all this was to humble me so the Lord could get me to cry out to Him, and then give me the gift of justification by faith. He has done a mighty work in me and continues to transform my mind into the image of His glorious Son.
I drank for the primary purpose of trying to fill a blank spot deep within myself, this void would manifest itself in various ways, but especially as a constant fear (anxiety) and an indescribable loneliness (depression). These two feelings occurred as the result of being spiritually dead and were the basis of all my other emotions and behaviors. At this time I had no choice but to try and fill this emptiness with external possessions; I was emotionally broken and I was simply existing. My whole identity, self-worth and purpose came from these things, money, gambling, clothes, food, and any other thing I could take to an extreme that would make me feel good. The out-come was always the same, me attempting to regain the relief I had just gotten no matter how brief, all over again. This would continue until it revolved into a mass of destruction for myself and everything in my path. My master was alcohol and I was imprisoned in my own flesh due to my continual chasing after the lust of my flesh.
Satan used this technique until by the grace of God I was arrested for drunken behavior. Then through the use of the court system satan attempted another one of his ruses to steal the glory from God. I was court ordered into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Where I was told I did not have to suffer anymore all I had to do was find God. “Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program..” I was told the twelve steps will treat both anxiety, loneliness, and all that stuff. I thought it was great; I was going to find a solution to all my problems, all I had to do was have them teach me how not to drink and do what they did. I was told to watch what happens to the people who don’t do what we do.
This was my first introduction to the twelve steps and all the other clichés that come from the room. I was asked if I believed myself to be an alcoholic. Then, I was told that if I were an alcoholic, not to worry because alcoholism is an illness. Furthermore, I was told if I’m not an alcoholic I should go try some controlled drinking, and then to come back and tell them how it worked out. To make this long story brief, I tried to follow and achieve “sobriety” through what they were telling me, to the best of my ability. I did not get it the first time, yet I tried over and over again. Once I got to a certain point the sense of meaninglessness would return. AA was just like anything else, it would only give me a sense of worth for a short time. When I confessed I had used, I was told I did not do the program “good enough” to obtain the spiritual experience required to remove the obsession and have an adequate defense against the future drink. “Lack of power that is our dilemma...”
What I was suffering from was being used against me now. In the groups I have experienced fear is used as the primary motivator. Fear of being labeled if you don’t live exactly the way they say (dry is what they refer to it as). All kinds of things have been said to me because I did not take a suggestion: “You won’t make it” or “you’re living dangerously” amongst many others. A person in this program may no longer be chained to the drink, but now is held captive by the expectation that alcoholism may trick, fool, or force you into destruction. All this is going on while I am being told I am free, but now I am surely being held enslaved to the program of AA.
After being at a meeting and hearing a few people share the thought came to my mind, this was a form of Stockholm syndrome that these long term members are afflicted with. I then tried to share Christ with them and what He has done for me. They explained to me then, that if it was as good as I was saying it was now; imagine how happy, joyous, and free I would be if I would do the twelve steps.
My true awakening came when I simply gave up trying to justify myself. I grasped Joel 2:25 “I will restore to you the years that the swarming locusts has eaten…” I thought after seeing this; alcohol was the locust God had sent into my life. All I had to do was believe his promise to fear not, be glad and rejoice in your Lord. He will restore all the year’s alcohol has taken. Where is that promise in AA?
If anyone has a question in their mind, even the smallest question, regarding the need to do the twelve steps to stay sober then consider this. I believe that presently God has put that question on your heart for a purpose. Indeed He may be presently drawing you closer to Himself. I encourage you to seek truth. In Christ we have a promise of abundance of life.
Why continue to draw from the well when Jesus provides the living water? Run from these uncleans where gain is godliness.
The last word I’d like to leave on you heart is, you’re at a table of devils if you have sin in your life and are not convicted of it in AA.
When i first started going to AA I was talking to my sponser and telling her i went to church and i was a Christian. “So am I”, she said to me; “But this is your bible now, the BB.” (BB=Alcoholics Anonymous primary textbook). It was like a knife in my heart. That very day i knew that this AA thing is not going to work for me. However, i continued to stay out of fear. I did get sober but eventually i had to leave. I read very little of the BB. I always looked for answers in the bible and they are there.
After going to a treatment center for alcohol abuse and depression in 1997, I began to attend Alcoholics Anonymous faithfully. Even though I had disdain for Christians and rejected my religious upbringing, when I was told that I could “choose my own conception of god”, I felt like it was wrong. It would be a violation of the second commandment. I couldn’t just make an idol. I realized, though, that I already had decided I would rather go to hell than to heaven with those church people, so why did it matter? Since I had nothing to lose, I fashioned my own higher power based on mostly New Age Movement beliefs. I felt superior since I was “spiritual” and not “religious” like those church people I disliked so much. When God chose to save me in 2013, I became what I had hated before. I became a born-again Christian. Unbelievable. The Bible I hated before became precious to me and as I read it and studied, I began to see where what it said was different than what AA says. Meetings were man-centered, not God-centered. The experience, strength, and hope I had to share with the suffering alcoholic was no longer coming from the big book of alcoholics anonymous. Since I couldn’t share the awesome, exciting truths I was learning in the Bible, I kept quiet. I would share afterwards sometimes with someone, but people didn’t want to hear about the Bible or Jesus. I was told to just make sure I kept my religion and AA separate and it would be okay. How do I separate Jesus from certain parts of my life? I thought maybe I could find a way to fit Jesus in because He was my higher power but Deut. 4:2 says “You shall not add to the word which I am commanding you nor take away from it…”. I can’t just add Jesus. Why would the Bible be sufficient except for this alcoholism thing? Did I need a special program that contradicts the Scripture to help me with that one? Even though AA does work for some people, Mark 8:36 says “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” I used to say that AA saved my life because it taught me how to live one day at a time without drinking and introduced me to a god of my own understanding which eventually led me to finding Jesus. That is a lie I used to justify staying in AA. I was saved in spite of AA not because of it. I began praying for guidance on what to do. Leaving AA would be difficult since I have a spouse who faithfully attends. I read David Simmons book, Alcoholics Anonymous and Christianity: Competing or Compatible? several times, as well as 12 Steps to Destruction by Martin and Deidre Bobgan. The secular website the Orange Papers was helpful in showing me the truth also. Pastor Chad from Recovery Reformation answered an email I sent about my fear of leaving AA. I didn’t take his advice at first. It was too hard. In fact, it has taken me almost a year and a half of prayer, reading different books, looking at websites, going to a biblical counselor, finding a solid church with a pastor who supports my decision, before I have been able to leave. Although I miss the AA fellowship sometimes, I mostly feel free. For over 16 years, I awoke each morning reminding myself that I was an alcoholic and that I had a “daily reprieve contingent on my spiritual condition”. Every time I went to a meeting, prayed, read my big book, met with my sponsor, met with a sponsee or did anything else for my sobriety, it was like putting money in the bank for a rainy day. Sobriety had to be first in my life. Today, I am no longer a slave to a 12 step program that says I must do certain things or I will drink again. I am a slave to Jesus Christ who freed me from my addiction. Jesus is enough. The Bible is sufficient. I awaken each morning praising God that He chose to save me and that I am His child. If I keep my eyes on Jesus, I will not drink again. I don’t believe drinking is a sin, but it would be for me. It was my idol. Why would I even consider doing that again when God was so good to save me from it? If you are a Christian and still go to AA, pray and study God’s Word. Investigate with an open mind. Once you see the truth, you will not be able to unsee it.